Problems faced and accumulated after some time.
1)
When we started to know each
other, we do talk a lot. Later on, I feel like im always trying to maintain our
conversations. Often, I told you to share things with me on what happen to you
on that day or any nonsense. What I remember best is that you will say: I have
nothing to say. There goes my silent… (He don’t like phone calls too :/ )
2)
When I was late for 10 minutes
or more making you to wait to fetch me from Taylor’s to go out together, you
will always angry. You will give me that face which never fails to make my
heart sinks. At few first times, I will disturb you and asked you what happen
but then I was always get answered back in an unpleasant voice and tone. What I
remember best is that: Nothing happened! I continued to ask whether everything
is alright and what can I do but Don’t ask! And Nothing you can do! Were the
replies. “Don’t ask”…”Don’t ask”….. this phrase imprinted in my mind that what
I can do is just keep quiet and pretend that everything is okay and I can do
nothing but just don’t ask or say a single thing. This happened a few times, I
just always allowed it to sink, hurt and go through that pain. And even I am
typing here right now, I am feeling the pain…
Disclaimer: I did not say that he showed that face is his bad or what. It may and most probably because I had did something wrong. For example: I did not inform him what I was doing previously…
Disclaimer: I did not say that he showed that face is his bad or what. It may and most probably because I had did something wrong. For example: I did not inform him what I was doing previously…
2b) It just feels weird when he suddenly
hugged me back after he is done with anger towards me. Oh well, yes nothing
happened.
3)
About not informing what I was
doing, refer back to 1). Imagine if I am the one who keep saying things that
happen to me and getting short replies while you are not sharing me yours. It is
tiring.
4)
Not knowing where to eat. We
always have this problem on deciding where to eat. Often, I asked myself back
why cant I decide where to eat and avoid us going into the cold war, and hurt
my heart again? Only then, I realized I know what I want to eat, but often, he
is the one who pick foods, he don’t like Japanese, Korean food, spicy food….
So, there goes, I can eat what he eat, so, is best to let him decide. But
often, I said he should decide because he is a guy. Lol. Cold war many times we
go out. It just feels sucks.
5)
This feels okay to me. His
house to Taylors is just 25 minutes away (without jam). One day, I told him
that I want to go back early at 4pm, feeling tired to wait for my sister until
7pm . What I remember was: I did not go to Sunway uni today. I felt it was
fine, because it will be really troublesome to make him come all the way to
fetch me. But, honestly, I told some people. And, they said they can and will
fetch if so. Some even said is about responsibility.
I really don’t know what and how I should
deal with it now.
Some advises telling me to say out
expectations towards each other, the problems, coming out with solutions
together, and give a space of freedom. Communicating my expectations is very important...
Some told me to just wait him finish his A
level finals and only deal with it.
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